Praying for peace in the chaos,
Waiting for rest in the storm;
Looking for wisdom and answers,
Wondering what lies ahead;
Knowing each day was part of His plan,
Holding on to hope for He’s given us faith;
Wearing thin just taking it all in,
Being refreshed once again as we pray;
Longing for more, but not sure what that means,
Resting in Him, knowing He’s still in control’
And living, just living for life is a gift;
To Him be the glory for whatever may come.
~May God bless you during this time as you search for answers. May you know He's holding onto you and know the peace that only comes through Him.
Love, Emily
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Gift
They were some of the hardest days of my life, to wonder if my baby girl would live. I look back and see the gift. Of course my daughter was a wonderful gift, but along the way the Lord gave me another gift, though at the time it was hard to see. I thank God for that gift.
I remember asking for the possible diagnosis.
I remember the small sheet of paper with the words achondroplasia and Trisomy 18. The third possibility was that it was nothing. The fourth was that it was something really rare; this was unlikely.
I remember hurrying home to look these up online.
I remember regretting that.
I remember each week as the doctor leaned towards Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome).
I remember longing to have a daughter with dwarfism.
I remember not wanting to buy baby clothes, not wanting to set a date for my baby shower.
I remember a friend telling me not to be negative because that was not like me.
I remember searching for children with Trisomy 18 that lived.
I remember finding only a handful.
I remember wanting my child to live but not wanting to be disappointed.
I remember praying for God’s will.
I remember praying that no matter what happened that God would be glorified through her life, however that might be.
I remember the needle.
I remember holding my breath as I watched them take the sample from by growing belly.
I remember the wait.
I remember the support from friends and family.
I remember all the prayers lifted on our behalf.
I remember the first call: no achondroplasia.
I remember the way that my heart sank.
I remember more waiting.
I remember the second call: Turner Syndrome.
I remember knowing it was going to be okay.
I remember knowing that my daughter would live.
I remember wanting her out so badly because maybe I didn’t know if she would live.
I remember her birth.
I remember how perfect she was.
I remember thinking the doctors were idiots for not knowing it was Turner’s not Edwards‘.
Now I know it was a gift.
To wonder if my daughter would live, to know it could be so much worse, perspective: it was a gift.
I will not wonder why for I know it was a gift that I will forever be grateful to have.
Thank you, Lord, for that gift.
I remember asking for the possible diagnosis.
I remember the small sheet of paper with the words achondroplasia and Trisomy 18. The third possibility was that it was nothing. The fourth was that it was something really rare; this was unlikely.
I remember hurrying home to look these up online.
I remember regretting that.
I remember each week as the doctor leaned towards Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome).
I remember longing to have a daughter with dwarfism.
I remember not wanting to buy baby clothes, not wanting to set a date for my baby shower.
I remember a friend telling me not to be negative because that was not like me.
I remember searching for children with Trisomy 18 that lived.
I remember finding only a handful.
I remember wanting my child to live but not wanting to be disappointed.
I remember praying for God’s will.
I remember praying that no matter what happened that God would be glorified through her life, however that might be.
I remember the needle.
I remember holding my breath as I watched them take the sample from by growing belly.
I remember the wait.
I remember the support from friends and family.
I remember all the prayers lifted on our behalf.
I remember the first call: no achondroplasia.
I remember the way that my heart sank.
I remember more waiting.
I remember the second call: Turner Syndrome.
I remember knowing it was going to be okay.
I remember knowing that my daughter would live.
I remember wanting her out so badly because maybe I didn’t know if she would live.
I remember her birth.
I remember how perfect she was.
I remember thinking the doctors were idiots for not knowing it was Turner’s not Edwards‘.
Now I know it was a gift.
To wonder if my daughter would live, to know it could be so much worse, perspective: it was a gift.
I will not wonder why for I know it was a gift that I will forever be grateful to have.
Thank you, Lord, for that gift.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Baby Dedication
Dedicated to You , O Lord,
We bring our children to You,
We know they’re yours already,
Entrusted to us on this earth,
And we thank You for each life,
You’ve placed into our arms,
We come as brothers and sisters,
Devoted to You alone,
To guide us on this journey,
To lead them to Your truth,
Please draw each one to You,
That they may know Your love,
That they may know Your plan for them,
That they may walk with You,
Teach us, Lord, to teach them,
Love us, Lord, to love them,
Guide us, Lord, to guide them,
That they might call You Lord
We bring our children to You,
We know they’re yours already,
Entrusted to us on this earth,
And we thank You for each life,
You’ve placed into our arms,
We come as brothers and sisters,
Devoted to You alone,
To guide us on this journey,
To lead them to Your truth,
Please draw each one to You,
That they may know Your love,
That they may know Your plan for them,
That they may walk with You,
Teach us, Lord, to teach them,
Love us, Lord, to love them,
Guide us, Lord, to guide them,
That they might call You Lord
Monday, April 20, 2009
Stop to Talk
Me, O Lord, You call to me?
Come near to You to talk with You?
Not now, but later; I'm busy now.
Oh, not quite yet; I'll get there soon.
One more thing, Lord, then we'll talk.
Oh, I'm so tired; I better sleep.
A new day's coming with lots to do,
And that day passes with stress throughout.
Another comes but with no peace.
The joy is gone, but life keeps going.
If only I'd stop, just stop to rest,
Rest in my Lord where I'll find strength,
Where I'll find joy and peace anew.
So when He calls; it's time to stop.
The world will wait, but I should not.
I should seek Him all day long,
Throughout the chaos, while work is done,
Talk with Him as I do my tasks,
Do all for Him, His glory to show,
And stop, sometimes, just stop to talk.
Come near to You to talk with You?
Not now, but later; I'm busy now.
Oh, not quite yet; I'll get there soon.
One more thing, Lord, then we'll talk.
Oh, I'm so tired; I better sleep.
A new day's coming with lots to do,
And that day passes with stress throughout.
Another comes but with no peace.
The joy is gone, but life keeps going.
If only I'd stop, just stop to rest,
Rest in my Lord where I'll find strength,
Where I'll find joy and peace anew.
So when He calls; it's time to stop.
The world will wait, but I should not.
I should seek Him all day long,
Throughout the chaos, while work is done,
Talk with Him as I do my tasks,
Do all for Him, His glory to show,
And stop, sometimes, just stop to talk.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Home to Heaven
Home to heaven,
Home to Jesus,
Home to freedom
From this flesh.
Praise God for life,
Both long and short.
Praise God for life,
Birth and rebirth.
God, who makes
Not one mistake.
God, who’s children
He makes whole.
Mourn, we will
For earthly loss.
Rejoice, we will
For heavenly gain.
Thanks be to God
For Matt’s sweet life.
Thanks be to God
For lives Matt touched.
Home to Jesus,
Home to freedom
From this flesh.
Praise God for life,
Both long and short.
Praise God for life,
Birth and rebirth.
God, who makes
Not one mistake.
God, who’s children
He makes whole.
Mourn, we will
For earthly loss.
Rejoice, we will
For heavenly gain.
Thanks be to God
For Matt’s sweet life.
Thanks be to God
For lives Matt touched.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Baby Matt Closer to Heaven
Check his blog for an update on Baby Matt http://prayformatt.blogspot.com/.
He is getting so close to seeing Jesus. Praise God for his short life that has and will have more good impact on this world than many who live what the world might call a "full life." When Matt passes, he will have lived a "full life," not measured in years, but measured by Jesus, a life that glorified the Father, that shared the gospel. Matt will soon meet Jesus, and someday I believe he will meet the people that met Jesus because of his story. Praise God for Matt. Praise God that we might live for His glory. Praise God for Matt's early family and friends. Oh Lord, surround them with Your love, comfort, and peace as they have surrounded Matt these past few months.
I look forward to the day when I will praise Jesus with Matt. Oh, He is so close to truly praising Jesus, right there, face to face! When he passes, may many mourn the loss of this sweet soul, but may we not forget to celebrate his passing into Glory and long to see Jesus ourselves. Oh, he will soon behold His glory!
He is getting so close to seeing Jesus. Praise God for his short life that has and will have more good impact on this world than many who live what the world might call a "full life." When Matt passes, he will have lived a "full life," not measured in years, but measured by Jesus, a life that glorified the Father, that shared the gospel. Matt will soon meet Jesus, and someday I believe he will meet the people that met Jesus because of his story. Praise God for Matt. Praise God that we might live for His glory. Praise God for Matt's early family and friends. Oh Lord, surround them with Your love, comfort, and peace as they have surrounded Matt these past few months.
I look forward to the day when I will praise Jesus with Matt. Oh, He is so close to truly praising Jesus, right there, face to face! When he passes, may many mourn the loss of this sweet soul, but may we not forget to celebrate his passing into Glory and long to see Jesus ourselves. Oh, he will soon behold His glory!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Baby Matt and God's Grace
As I prayed for Baby Matt last night and the wonderful family who brought him in to be their son, I thought about adoption, about God’s adoption of us. I love how the Lord gives us pictures so that we might better understand His grace. He is good. He is so good!
Baby Matt was not the baby everyone was fighting over to take home. He was not the baby that would make any mother so proud as he accomplished milestone after milestone. He was not the baby that would make his father beam as he babbled, “dada.” No, he was broken. He came into this world broken. He doesn’t know he’s broken, but it is sadly true. He is dying and short of a miracle, he will die at a very young age. This wonderful family brought him into their home even though he was broken. They have other children, alive and well, able to smile and laugh, able to say, “Mama, Daddy, I love you,“ able to look up to their parents, to want to grow up to be like them. They brought Matt into their home simply to love, not for anything they would receive in return, just because they chose to love him in spite of his condition.
So how does that relate to you and me? Well, we are Matt. We came into this world broken. We didn’t know we were broken, but it is sadly true. Our situation was not good because we were born with a sinful nature. Our desire was to please ourselves, not our creator and God. We didn’t even know Him. We couldn’t even call His name. We surely couldn’t love Him. We had nothing in us to make God want us. He is God. He has angels to shout His praises, to tell of His glory. If He commands even the rocks can cry out to Him. He doesn’t need us, broken creatures that we are. Yet, He chose us, not because He had to but because He wanted to chose us. He brought us into His family as children, not for anything we could offer Him (He is God and needs nothing.), just because He chose to love us in spite of our condition. Grace.
So what’s different? What is different is that when God adopted us as His children, He wiped away our disease. He removed our dead hearts of stone and replaced them with hearts of flesh, able to love Him. Now we can call His name, “Father, Daddy.” Now we can bring Him praise. Now we can live our lives every day to honor Him with obedience, devotion, and love.
I thank God for Matt’s earthly family who is living for God. They are showing us their devotion to a Father who took them in when they were broken. They are showing what it is like trying to be like Daddy.
I am sad that I can write about Matt as broken and not society’s wanted baby. I am sad that his situation is what it is, but I am so glad that we serve a God who is mighty to heal, if not here on earth, then completely one day in heaven. Praise be to God who does not make mistakes!
Baby Matt was not the baby everyone was fighting over to take home. He was not the baby that would make any mother so proud as he accomplished milestone after milestone. He was not the baby that would make his father beam as he babbled, “dada.” No, he was broken. He came into this world broken. He doesn’t know he’s broken, but it is sadly true. He is dying and short of a miracle, he will die at a very young age. This wonderful family brought him into their home even though he was broken. They have other children, alive and well, able to smile and laugh, able to say, “Mama, Daddy, I love you,“ able to look up to their parents, to want to grow up to be like them. They brought Matt into their home simply to love, not for anything they would receive in return, just because they chose to love him in spite of his condition.
So how does that relate to you and me? Well, we are Matt. We came into this world broken. We didn’t know we were broken, but it is sadly true. Our situation was not good because we were born with a sinful nature. Our desire was to please ourselves, not our creator and God. We didn’t even know Him. We couldn’t even call His name. We surely couldn’t love Him. We had nothing in us to make God want us. He is God. He has angels to shout His praises, to tell of His glory. If He commands even the rocks can cry out to Him. He doesn’t need us, broken creatures that we are. Yet, He chose us, not because He had to but because He wanted to chose us. He brought us into His family as children, not for anything we could offer Him (He is God and needs nothing.), just because He chose to love us in spite of our condition. Grace.
So what’s different? What is different is that when God adopted us as His children, He wiped away our disease. He removed our dead hearts of stone and replaced them with hearts of flesh, able to love Him. Now we can call His name, “Father, Daddy.” Now we can bring Him praise. Now we can live our lives every day to honor Him with obedience, devotion, and love.
I thank God for Matt’s earthly family who is living for God. They are showing us their devotion to a Father who took them in when they were broken. They are showing what it is like trying to be like Daddy.
I am sad that I can write about Matt as broken and not society’s wanted baby. I am sad that his situation is what it is, but I am so glad that we serve a God who is mighty to heal, if not here on earth, then completely one day in heaven. Praise be to God who does not make mistakes!
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