My word to focus on in 2016 was faith.
I wrote a whole list of possible words to focus on during December
2015. I prayed and asked God to let me
know which word to pick. He gave me the word faith, a word that was not on my list, and the verse Hebrews 11:1,
a verse I always thought was a bit hard to understand.
Now
faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
I’m glad that I listened to what the Lord put on my heart
and in my head. (No, I did not hear an audible voice.) He taught me a lot, and He taught me that the
more I learn, there is no need to become prideful with knowledge but ever more
reason to become more humble as I learn how much more He has to teach me.
I wrote earlier in the year about
how a third grader defined faith as “not doubting.” I agree that not doubting
is definitely part of faith, that complete trust and confidence in our Savior,
and we are told to have faith and not doubt (James 1:6), but we are also told
to have mercy on those who doubt (Jude 1:22). Doubt can be defined as feeling
uncertain or lacking conviction about something, which is definitely the
opposite of the definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1. So, how does doubt fit
into my faith journey? Did I have a
crisis of faith? Did I let doubt slip in?
I have lived a life with faith from
a very early age. I cannot even remember
a time without faith in Jesus. I was
blessed to grow up in a family that had passed down faith generation to
generation, and I had become a Christian at an early age, by faith trusting
Christ as my Savior. I have spent my
whole life holding on to faith as hard as I can. Through every struggle and heartache in my
life, I have told myself truth so I could hold onto faith. I have tried to assure myself so I could hold
it all together.
Why do I try, and try again
To hold on tight, to always win?
To hold it all together?
To never fall apart?
To reach so high, but not ever
enough?
Why do I try, and try again
To reach some place never meant
For me..to reach…all on..my own?
I need to rest in You.
I need to trust You.
I need to stop, to stop trying
To hold it all together.
Because when I fall apart,
You will hold me in Your arms.
I need to stop, to stop trying
To hold it all together,
To hold it all together.
I need to rest in You.
I need to trust You.
For You are faithful, You are true,
You’re the only one
Who can hold it all together.
You hold it all together.
You hold it all together.
I can rest in You.
I will find rest in You.
I will rest in You.
Guess what I figured out?
I can’t always hold it together.
My faith in Him needed (and still needs) to be increased, and my faith
in myself needs to keep decreasing (John 3:30). And I need to rest, to rest in Him.
And guess
what I figured out about doubt? Sometime
doubt is the very thing that God uses to build our faith. In Matthew 14, we
read the account of Peter walking on water, walking out to Jesus, who was
walking on water, initially having faith and getting out of the boat, then
letting fear and doubt slip in, and crying out for Christ to save Him. We tend to talk about how he was able to walk
on water (an amazing feat that took great faith), but how it was all ruined by
his lack of faith that made him begin to sink. You know what is cool
though? When Peter cried for help, Jesus
immediately stretched out His hand
and took hold of him. And then what
happened? Everyone that was in the boat worshipped Jesus as God’s Son! I bet that that doubt built Peter’s faith. It helped him know that when he fell short,
Christ was right there to pick him up.
Jesus said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Of course Jesus
didn’t praise him for his doubt; there was no need to doubt because Jesus is
completely trustworthy. He reminded him
of this, but He didn’t yell at him to just have faith and get back up while he
flailed in the water. Jesus loves us so
very much. He wants us to learn to trust
Him. He knows that it doesn’t just come
automatically. He knows what it will
take to build our faith. Sometimes we
need to let ourselves question everything so that He can show us that there was
no need to doubt.
God made us
to seek out truth, to question and ponder, to search and find (Matthew 7:7). He tells us in Proverbs 30:5:
Every word of God proves true; He is a
shield to those who take refuge in Him.
Isn’t that cool? We
can ask questions and seek to know for sure, and His Word will prove true. It won’t just be something passed on to us to
accept without question. It will be our
own that He has shown us to be true. And
then, did you see it? He is shield to us
who take refuge in Him! Remember what
part of the armor of God (Ephesians 6:16) that faith is? Our shield!
Back to
Hebrews 11:1 for a final reflection for this year:
Now
faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
So what if we are not sure?
Let us ask the questions and seek the answer. And praise God, He will open the floodgates
of His love and mercy to show us all around us who He is! He will bless us with
assurance and conviction, with FAITH!
And now onto another year and another word for focus, but faith will continue to guide me every
year.
